life is a cosmic joke

I have been on a lot of different continents & countries since I last posted. I don’t know what to say.

I spent my entire life
waiting to leave

now my entire life is
leaving
& I am left

empty

went back on this blog to a year ago & WOW I was having a complete mental break & basically I am very proud of myself for where I am right now!

unsends:

im permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, I’m chill

gurtslurper:

2016sucks:

tilthat:

TIL that Adolf Hitler absolutely despised smoking and German doctors were the first to link smoking with lung cancer, which led to the first public anti-smoking campaign in modern history. This consisted of restrictions on tobacco advertising and smoking in public spaces.

via http://ift.tt/2fMCB1M

Just for that I’m gonna smoke more

white liberals teach the nazi regime as some absolute evil so as to not implicate white settler colonial states (US, canada, australia,) in similar projects of white supremacy and genocide. this framework of stark black and white, good vs evil, paints over a wealth of contradictions. these contradictions are then given their own frame, controlled and released in ways that are convenient for power.

instead of thinking ‘how can america, the good guys, do such evil through slavery, genocide,’ etc, the site of contradiction is moved over to the side of absolute evil. the question becomes ‘how could the nazis, as evil as they were, do such good?’ nazis become humanized as white liberals look for ways to see how they are like ‘us,’ instead of the more harrowing challenge of introspectively examining how 'we’ resemble them. and so, white nationalism becomes more rational or functional or permissible to white liberals. instead of thinking, oh, we had it all wrong, we aren’t so 'good’ after all, their line of thinking is, well, perhaps *they* weren’t so 'bad’ after all.

you are far more likely to see 'fun facts’ disseminated about public works, healthcare, education, etc, under the nazi regime than you are to see little factoids about the tuskegee syphilis experiments, black wall street, the trail of tears, or forced sterilization projects, or the MOVE bombing, and there are reasons for it.

oh & here it comes again!!!

I feel like I’m not talking about my life enough but honestly I am simultaneously terrified for the future and trying to remain as optimistic & positive as possible bc I know how easy it is to fall into despair. even more I am having a lowkey PTSD episode & getting sad about being alone on my birthday soon. spent Thanksgiving on a date that is illegal bc of where I currently am. it was lovely but also really makes me think about my own privilege, then my friend cuddled w me until she fell asleep. idk, Morocco is beautiful and I will never stop tasting mint tea but life also feels v wild rn